Sexta-feira, 1 de Dezembro de 2006

hatred

The night came bursting through the hours…

my floating mind was unexpectedly caught off guard while I thought of you, picturing you right there next to me, I couldn’t bring myself to stop hoping my love for you would die and yet, I still think of you…It’s no longer love or desire…it’s pure pain… I pity myself because of you…I live through you, no longer knowing how I can live just by myself.. You feature in my dreams…even when I can shut you out of my thoughts during the day…you’re a constant. One I don’t have control of. Never did, never will. You are the one that as control over me, a spell named obsession, a torturing conscience that allows me to recognize this is not love. This is sick. May be sick is the new love: “Falling in sick”.

I hate you…so very much.. I hate you as much as I love you. May be even more.. And I miss you painfully. It hurts more than words can ever say. I feel it will always hurt. You make it hurt. It is your fault. I blame you, I really do. Why do you have do be so lovable? Why do you have to make me miss you? Why did you make me fall in love with you? I blame you. I hate you for that. I love you because of that and I hate you for that.

And even as I write this along, I can’t stop imagining how fabulous it would be if you were still here, by my side. And everything would be in the right place. You…here. But.. who am I kidding? Yes I do love you, I believe so… despite not being able to resume what I feel in a simple word like love without being hesitant.. What’s the rush in defining what it is that we are feeling? If someone likes one another, there is no rush. There shouldn’t be any rush at all. There shouldn’t be any worries, nor the stupid preoccupation in expressing yourself by a simple and banal word as “love” is.. Nevertheless, that is not the question. What’s important is that we liked each other…until life got in the way. And now, I feel like I’m drifting apart from this fucking world. Everything seems so pointless and hallow.

I wanna run away. I just want to run away. I know it’s the cowardless thing to do, but hey…who said that wasn’t a coward? Not me, I’m sure. Either way, life is what you make of it. And I don’t plan to live mine knowing that I’ve wasted another minute with you in my mind. Erase. “That’s why pencils have rubbers, right?”. So…here is my goodbye. My “see you later” to you…

 

 

 

j t kff


postado por panck às 23:54
link do post | oPinar | favorito
1 comentário:
De blitZk a 23 de Dezembro de 2006 às 06:17
nice =)

bjs


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